YOUTH – a problem or a promise? Adults and youth find themselves at conflict today. Generation Gap, as people would call it, is wider than ever before. There's a huge disconnect between them, something that wasn't the case in the yester years.

Earlier children would be brought up learning from their elders – parents, relatives and neighbors – and socializing with their friends, who also would belong to the same locality. That has changed in our modern and fast-paced lifestyles. The sources of learning for the youth have now primarily become the television and the internet. More global information – good and (a lot of) bad – is available for consumption.

How has this affected the relationship between the two? The youth are definitely not benefitting from the elderly. They lose out on all that vital experience, information and nourishment required for proper upbringing. And the adults have absolutely no idea (or even the time) on how to reach out to the youth.

Youth in Saudi Arabia are no different. Let's look at one type of attitude adults adopt and one type of behavior youth resort to and see if we could bring about the much-needed peace between the two!

Last Ramadan, there were reports that haven't got out of my mind. Imams of mosques were getting tough on stylish youth, who would wear "weird" clothing and hairstyles.

Saudi Gazette reported: A notice from mosque Imams in the region has reportedly been circulated informing of a ban on persons wearing "unusual and immodest clothes" from entering mosque premises, including those with "strange hairstyles or who use women's bands in their hair".

There were also reports about how some mosques would ban children, understandably because of their unruly behavior and the chaos they would cause while prayer – affecting the worshippers who would be trying so hard to concentrate in their prayers.

Indeed the Imam of the mosque, in whose vicinity I grew up with other "unruly" kids, last Ramadan had had enough. He asked the opinion of the worshippers if he should ban children inside the mosque and whether they should just pray outside in separate section built for them. Surprisingly, many agreed.

I would not discard the sentiments of elders, but I feel such an attitude is counterproductive. The youth – yes with all their irritating apparel – are coming to the mosque to worship God. What should that tell us about them?

Instead of turning them away, the mosque should be the place of reform and learning, something they will not get anywhere else. Adults need to reach out to them – show forbearance and love. Tell me, if a young man were told by an adult who often smiles and says salaams to him in the mosque, "Why not come in the best of appearances to stand before God?" how rebellious would that young man be?

Children creating havoc in the mosque could be viewed as an opportunity. Their parents obviously have not taught them manners, but the mosque's community can!

There could be advanced planning before Ramadan. Activities could be introduced. The children could have fun and learn at the same time. They could be educated about Islam in a competitive way. There's no end to the innovative techniques that could be thought out!

It would be extremely wrong to disregard youth and children. They love Islam. They just need someone to gently teach them. Why do we blame them? They have not been brought up or nurtured well. They have not been provided with sources required for spiritual and physical development. Negative influences have not been checked. Fathers and mothers are not doing their duties as parents.

ON the other hand, there's something very important we youth must understand and realize for our own good. We would be the losers if we were to reject everything our elders expect from us. Yes, our elders are not perfect. They may not treat us well at times and may irritate us too. But nevertheless their wisdom, their experience and knowledge is much more than ours. They may not be acquainted with the latest gadgets or the latest trends, but they are well-versed with things related to life which are much more important.

Let's take the example of an elephant. Elephants live in herds – huge families. The elder teaches the calf. That's how an elephant learns to live safely and avoid danger. Now with poaching for tusks, the number of older elephants has drastically reduced. This is affecting the lives of herds. Calves are growing up without that valuable learning which is making them vulnerable and incapable of adapting and surviving. Think about it!
Not everything our elders say is futile. And even if a particular wish they have about small things like the way we eat or dress may not sound reasonable to us, listening whole-heartedly would do no harm. It would only make us more flexible. Because of our young age, we can be quite flexible, but that's not quite the other way round.

How beautifully Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) summed it all up in one sentence: "He is not from us who does not show mercy to our young ones and does not respect our elderly." (Abu Dawood, no.1984, Al-Tirmidhi, no. 2091)