I WAS recently humbled by my dear husband after a home schooling “incident” with my eldest son.  As my son is in high school, I really don’t spend much time with his schooling, if any at all.  He is, after all, old enough to be responsible for his own learning and following the instructions in his curriculum.  Or so I thought!

It was late at night and my son had borrowed Baba’s laptop, as usual, for his school lessons.   When he brought it back my husband asked him what he had studied today.  My son replied that he had been reviewing to retake a test he had scored poorly on.

My ears perked up.  I wanted to know what test he had failed and when.  I discovered that the first take was over a month ago and he had been reviewing the material since then.  It seemed he lacked the confidence to dive in and take it again.

I was irritated as I realized he must be falling behind his schedule and insisted he take the test right then and there.  I surely felt that a month of preparation was more than enough!

I watched over his shoulder as he completed the twenty question test.  Most of it was simple and he breezed through.  However, I noticed a few questions he was hesitant to answer and it was clear he wasn’t sure.  I remained silent and did not offer any assistance; this was a test, not a time for a lesson.

Then I glanced to the top of the screen.  Lo and behold, there was a short paragraph instruction to the test which was written in a different font and color for emphasis.  As he hesitated on a question I read the instructions:

“This is an open-book test.  You may spend up to thirty minutes on each question to search the material for the appropriate answer…”

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” I thought.  “The kid failed and is struggling with an OPEN-BOOK test?!?”

I quickly lost my patience and my tongue.  I was up one side and down the other.  The poor kid didn’t have a moment reprieve, except to meekly say, “I didn’t realize.”

“You didn’t realize?!?  How can you not realize?!? It’s right there in the first line of the instructions!”

I was frustrated and disappointed and it showed.  Even after he finished (with a perfect score) I couldn’t contain my irritation (as I mentioned in The Source of Guidance for Parents, “…I am NOT a perfect parent!”).

Humble Reminder  

I went on ranting to my husband until he made me stop and think (he’s so good at that), “Why are you so upset?  I’m quite sure it’s common.”

Before I could go on about how “someone took the time to write the instructions for a reason and I always read the instructions first..,” it hit me:  the memory of this important lesson in my own life.

Childhood Memoir 

It was sixth grade and my teacher was Mr. Staley.  I remember a lot about him and that school year.  Not so much the lessons in math, science, history, or language but the important lessons for life.

(Off topic and coincidentally, it was Mr. Staley who first introduced me to the far off and exotic land of Saudi Arabia.  I had never heard of it before.  We were his last class that he would teach in our American home-town school; the next year he would be setting off to teach in Saudi.  I remember how exciting and interested I was in his coming adventure.  I didn’t know much about it then, but obviously it was the first of many unnoticed seeds along my journey to Saudi myself, subhan’Allah!)

 The Lesson

It’s the lesson about reading instructions that came flooding back to me amidst my ranting with my husband.  Mr. Staley had given us our first-ever timed-test.  When he first announced that we would be taking a timed-test the room became abuzz with nervousness.  He passed out the two page test, placing it face-down on our desks with careful instructions to wait until permission was given to begin.  After returning to the front of the class he set the large-dialed white timer usually used for quiet-reading-time to ten minutes and said, “Begin.”

I quickly flipped the paper over and began rushing through the test.  I was pleased with myself for finishing just before the timer buzzed.  I was also quite sure I had done well as I didn’t find the material very difficult.

However, I was later shocked when he handed back our graded tests.  In fact, the ruckus in the room suggested the entire class was shocked with their grades: “F”!  You see, had we read the one line instruction at the top of the page it said,

“Put your name on the paper and turn it in.  Do not answer any of the questions.”

I had long since forgotten about this lesson, but it has stuck with me in practice from that moment forward.  I am quite sure that it has also made my life so much simpler.  In fact I’d say it was one of the most important lessons of my life!  What a blessing to realize how Allah is the best of planners in bringing such learning opportunities to us through a variety of ways.

My Responsibility

Suddenly I realized how hard I had been on my son.  It wasn’t his fault he hadn’t been blessed with a teacher as intuitive about life lessons as Mr. Staley.  In fact, especially as a home schooled child, I realized my lack of responsibility to fulfill such important life lesson with all my kids.

Conclusion

Reading and following instructions is such a simple task which is often rushed through or brushed off.  It’s our responsibility to teach our children to pay attention to instructions, be they written or verbal, as this important lesson will undoubtedly ease many tasks in life.

We can apply this to more profound areas of our life as well.  With Ramadan right around the corner, this is such a timely reminder, not only for our children but for all Muslims, subhan’Allah.  After all, “Allah took the time to send us HIS Book of life instructions for a reason and we should always read the instructions first..”

“…It was the month of Ramadan in which the Qur'an was [first] bestowed from on high as a guidance unto man and a self-evident proof of that guidance, and as the standard by which to discern the true from the false.” (2:185)

©2011 aisha_alhajjar@yahoo.com, All Rights Reserved  (All writings are the original work of Aisha Al Hajjar and are based on her personal research, experiences, and opinions; they do not necessarily reflect the views of any organization or this publication.)