AS parents it is important that we have goals for our children. This includes long term as well as short term goals. Fostering good behaviors in our children should be short term goals that turn desired behaviors into habits.

In recent articles (Battle of the Wills, Rights, Responsibilities, and Privileges, What Is Discipline?, and Prison or Gold Mine), I discussed the concept of positive parenting and the steps to achieve it. Now we’ll discuss positive behavior habits and how to achieve them.

Typically it takes about a month to form a habit (good or bad). Consider the month of Ramadan when Muslims are encouraged to increase their good deeds. Allah (SWT) gives us the blessings of this month to really focus on our Islamic goals and work towards forming the habits that increase us in our rewards on the Day of Judgment, alhamdulillah.

One way for parents to encourage positive habits in our children is to set goals. Older children do well with monthly goals, whereas younger may need weekly or daily.

Provide rewards for reaching goals, but keep it simple. In my article, Prison or Gold Mine?, I discussed tracking behavior and earning privileges. You can easily incorporate goals into these positive parenting techniques.

In a point system you can simply set a number goal. If achieved, the children are rewarded. Reward with the things you would give them anyway.

It may be as simple as letting them select their favorite meal for the coming month’s Fridays or a shopping trip for new clothes you would have provided any way. Younger children may enjoy a trip to the local fast food chain. Rather than doling out cash or allowances as a “right,” turn it into a “privilege” earned by reaching goals. Be careful not to over reward or make promises you can’t keep.

The idea is to keep it simple and modify behaviors. The aim should be making good behavior habits. I modify my program with my children on a monthly basis to keep things fresh and to concentrate on areas needing improvement.

Remember our deeds are judged by intention and we certainly don’t have to wait for Ramadan to work on improving behaviors. Begin now, be consistent, and give the gift of positive parenting to your children.

Check back for coming articles with more practical, positive parenting advice.

©2011 aisha_alhajjar@yahoo.com, All Rights Reserved (All writings are the original work of Aisha Al Hajjar and are based on her personal research, experiences, and opinions; they do not necessarily reflect the views of The American Academy of Husband-Coached Childbirth®, The Bradley Method®, or this publication.