LIKE every other human in this world, I too get upset with a number of things. I protest and often get furious too. Hypocrisies, lies and meanness make me go wild most of the time. It won't be unusual to say that like other youngsters of my age I lock myself up in my room in protest when things don’t go my way.

Recently, I was caught in a never-ending enigma that was strong enough to affect my mental health. In utter despair, I visited my beloved uncle, who happens to be an Islamic scholar, to vent out my frustration and understand why it is disturbing me to this level.

Initially, I kept on complaining impatiently about the double-standards, meanness, hypocrisy, lies, false egos and trickery without letting him speak a word. I wept a lot, I yelled a lot while he kept on smiling. Like everyone else, I was sure that it was not me who was wrong and that it was the other party(s) who was more at fault. I wanted everyone else to change their attitude of seeking faults in others, but I myself did not want to change. I quoted Islamic rulings condemning the traits I disliked stressing how painful things can be.

Once I was done, my uncle said, "Amber, be patient. Tell me what least you can do for the sake of Allah." There came a pause. "See Amber," he was saying, "when you have to choose between the people whom Allah has chosen for you and these unpleasant traits in them, choose people. Agreed, you must have been hurt by their behavior, but these things are negligible when you forgive them for the sake of Allah."

I interrupted saying that I have forgiven others many times but still everyone is mean. Again he smiled only and said, "This is the real test for a good Muslim. A good Muslim does not see what others did, but forgives others for Allah's sake. This is easy only when you have good intentions for your Deen and want to live a life of a good Muslim and that is the real spirit of Islam. Just let your good intention be for the sake of Allah alone and be selfless."

After listening to my uncle, I for the first time actually understood the meaning of Hadith, "If Allah wants to favor someone, He grants him understanding of this religion." (Sahih Al-Bukhari, vol. 1, no. 71) I regretted and got embarrassed on my limited knowledge of Islam. I felt my knowledge was like a body without soul and that up till now I had lived a futile life.

I hated the fact that of late I was living a life where I kept myself shut in a self-righteous shell. I used to forgive people or get angry with them as per my wish and not for the sake of Allah. Whenever I wished, I forgave and whenever I wished I held them wrong. I have protested, harmed myself and at times hurt others by my tongue. I realized at that moment how important it is to know that Allah is the only Judge and how silly it is for us humans to judge others. We simply can overlook others’ acts, not for ourselves but for Allah.

We get hurt only because of our lack of love for Allah and wish to serve Him truly. We have hidden ego in the name of self-respect, while being drowned in self-pride. Ironically, we hold grudges with people around us to keep our egos satisfied and yet we take pride in calling ourselves good Muslims.

Had any of us being tortured like Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) during his journey to Taif that his body got badly wounded and footwear fully soaked with blood, we may have never forgiven them, especially when Allah Himself would have punished them. But the Prophet (peace be upon him) forgave.

Ponder over what I learnt: Learn to live for the sake of Allah. Overlook the silly trivial differences between you and others and mend your ties before Ramadan gets over.