“I would like to educate my children in the West and give them good education,” declare many South Asian fathers. They forget that among their children are wonderful, innocent little girls and boys who will be sent to a society that may come as a culture shock for them. The desire to get the best of the best gets the best of these fathers one day.

You may have read about the Indian gentleman whose daughter was helped by the Canadian embassy not so long ago to elope with her boyfriend. She wanted to marry someone he did not approve of, so she called the embassy. The embassy helped her escape to Dubai. That, according to Canadian law, is perfectly alright.

This is one ordeal of raising your kids in a society that encourages dating and relationships out of wedlock. The other one is the kind of people your children will get associated with in an “open” environment.

I heard a sad story some days ago.

It was of a father who raised his kids in the West. He hoped and desired the best education and the best life for them. But instead he suffered a lot. His Westernized daughter fell in love with another Indian Muslim there. Revelation of a relationship is itself a shock for most traditional Indian families. But what if the girl walks in wearing jeans and says “Dad, I am in love with this guy and we need to marry soon” to a man who was raised in a culture where he, being a son, did not look to his father in the eye! This man was raised to respect elders, maintain traditions, and be humble. He now has to hear this from his daughter.

He got her married. The son-in-law was a “tycoon”, as they all supposedly are, running a business and involved in multiple activities. With hardly any background checks or looking up for references, and considering the love of his daughter, the father got her married.

Now, to keep up his social status in the society, he cooks up tales about how great his son-in-law is, what a great businessman he is, and how happy his daughter is.

But soon the son-in-law takes every penny the father had saved up, makes him sell his house for an “investment” opportunity that will pay back big time, which did not. The son-in-law claimed bankruptcy, divorced his wife and took off in search of other naïve and “modern” families.

What is happening to us Desis?

Why are we so obsessed with western passports, education and lifestyle when it takes away our identity as the price? What were these fathers thinking? Did they not think that a day such as this would come in their lives eventually? Were they ready to become totally westernized or were they living in delusion? Now all they can do is sit and cry over what their decisions have done to their children and family.

Good education is supposed to make you a better human being. Higher degrees and specialization can be achieved in our own countries.

I fail to understand what was wrong with our own system that we had to challenge and change them? What is it that has made us hate our own traditions and system of life? We have forsaken our identity, language, clothing and customs, but for what?

I do not blame our women at all. I blame our men. The generation before us has done everything possible to destroy our heritage. Why? What made them to do this? And what is its price? Why have those things that go against the teachings of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) become so attractive and desirable to Muslims?

I have asked these questions for years now. I questioned my elders. Why did they choose a foreign culture for us?

I, and many others like me, have lived my life till now without any care for a western degree or passport happily and successfully Alhamdulillah. I have depended entirely on Allah, His Book and His Messenger for guidance. I have found that whosoever implements these teachings in his or her life achieves everything life has in offer. So, why do our fellow people want it differently? Do they want to forsake simplicity, wisdom and prosperity and instead wash dishes in a fast food chain?

Do not get me wrong. It is great to interact with westerners. They have a lot to offer and teach us. There is no doubt that they have progressed in science and technology more than anyone, but so have the Japanese, Koreans and others. Why are we so focused on the West alone? We learn English, fine. We go enjoy their lands, fine. We buy their products, fine. We interact with them as friends, fine. But why must we forsake our culture and adopt theirs?

For instance, why did the Nawabs of India abandon their Kurta Sherwani and Chooridar Pajama for a tailored suit? I am sure westerners did not ask them to. In fact, I know many Brits and Americans who speak fluent Urdu and Arabic. They love our traditions. But we don’t. When integration comes to a level where our children start adopting their lifestyles, we fall into despair.

I have no conclusion to this issue. I leave it to the readers to wonder and evaluate. But, these questions should make one think. To say that the West dictates this to us is a terrible lie. The West has not dictated anything. I am sure America will not attack Pakistan or India if its citizens choose to stick to their traditions and values. I am so very sure of this. It is us who are condemning our own and engaged in vein efforts to discard our identity to adopt foreign ones… which is absolutely ridiculous.