IN the past seven or more years, I have noticed a growing phenomenon. It has become an issue so severe that it is destroying society slowly. And yet we all very consciously and knowingly ignore it.

Extra Marital Affairs. Divorces. Single Women.

The number is rising. There are way too many 30+ ladies who are single in our society. And there are way too many cases of divorce.

I recall, during my childhood days, the story of my uncle who married two women.

The man was treated miserably. He was looked down upon and ridiculed for doing what he did. As I grew up, I kept on hearing how bad men were who married again while married to someone else and that they were doing great injustice to their families. I heard such feedback mostly from the women in my family. I know for a fact that my uncle did not do any injustice. His children from both his wives loved him and both of his wives were well-settled and happy.

In 1995, I met a Pakistani man in a flight from Cyprus to Riyadh. He asked me about how education and life in Cyprus was. He had been there only for two weeks. I told him it was great and that we all really loved going to college there. I asked him if he went there for business. “Are you kidding me? I went to meet my Polish girlfriend,” he replied. And then he went on to tell me how he had a great time with her in Larnaca. It bothered me, though it was none my business what he did or did not do with her. A week later I was invited to a party in Riyadh. He was there with his wife and kids. He saw me and could not look me in the eye. I did not say anything but salaam, and I got the picture: Cheating on the wife!

The gentleman was respected, looked up to, and successful. And he had just one wife.

Question: Is this right? My uncle who legally married another woman is condemned, and a man who maintains an illegal relationship is respected.

Why do our societies discourage multiple marriages when Allah has allowed it? Why are men who do it looked upon in a negative way? Who is dictating how life should be now?

Why is this made out to be such a big deal? 

Islamic Republic of Pakistan has made a law that man needs to get permission of his first wife in order to marry again. What “Islamic” rule is this? This is FEMINIZATION of men. Homosexuality, prostitution, vulgarity and abuse are tolerated, but not polygamy! Polygamy is SUCH A BIG CRIME. A Pakistani actress gets photographed nude. That goes unpunished. But a Muslim man needs permission from his wife to marry again if he wants to. Astaghfirullah!

I am sure men will tell me: if you marry again, your wife will leave you. That is the threat. But a significant percentage of you (no offense, but let us be realistic) go out on “business trips” to lands close by and engage in Haraam liaisons. Right? There would be no prostitution industry, if this were not the case. And ladies, please DO NOT tell me that you don't know when your husband has "been there". Every woman knows and feels it when her husband does something wrong. But because of a lack of proof stays silent. She even accepts it after a while AS LONG AS he does not marry someone else. Only then everyone gets really upset.

For my sisters: Your security is from Allah, which he may deliver through your Mahram. If your husband has kept you secure, be grateful to Allah. If he abuses you, you have the right to walk away. Allah has promised that He will provide. But, your husband marrying again is not abuse. No, it is not. You should be proud of his honesty.

Do you seek to please people or do you seek to please Allah? Ask yourself.

What “sane” man will want added responsibility? It may be perfect to have one wife and less expenditure. And then go out on a “trip”, once a while to do your thing and come back home smiling, right? Only a TRUE Muslim will stand up and say NO to Haraam and lose anything for Halaal. Marriages up to four are Halaal for Muslim men. There are many benefits of this. There are many reasons for this.

As I said earlier, many men indulge in Haraam. If we had bred the culture of multiple marriages, like we did centuries ago, there would be few single women waiting for marriage. They would have found security and thus society would have been cleaner.

Let’s say there are 150 women and 100 men in a community. If all 100 men get married to only one woman, then 50 women won’t find a partner. This is what is happening now in all our societies. So what about those 50 women? What should they do?

In the past, 50 from the 100 men would have married them. But today, 40 out of those 100 prefer to have affairs with them. Only 10 want to marry them, but would not dare even mention it. Why? Because they fear the first wife and society more than they fear Allah. That is the bottom-line and very few accept this as the truth. But it is the truth. Hiding from it is only living in illusion.

This is what is going on, brothers.

It is true that some women, after being married for a long time and then getting divorced, prefer to remain single. But this condition does not last long. Soon they start longing for a companion. And that is when the door to wrongdoing opens up.

The rise in the rate of single, divorced or widowed women is alarming. The rise in crimes is alarming. The rise in prostitution is alarming and the rise in Haraam is overwhelming.

Societies are built on families. When the institution of family is challenged, society starts to collapse. And this is happening today. It has come to a point where girls aged 20 or 25 have LOST the hope of ever getting married. They have taken the path of either frustration or Haraam. Either way, the loss is ours.

We have not only made monogamous marriage extremely difficult, but we have also totally outlawed polygamous marriages, and the result is obvious: Extra-marital affairs, frustration and disgusting degeneration of society.

Think people, think.