2012
| Almost Home: Women Harassed in KSA |
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| Friday, 07 October 2011 23:39 |
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(Based on a True Story) "YOU cannot come here dressed like that!” At the sound of the man’s shouting, the woman stiffened.But she kept walking. It was late evening, and she didn’t want to look back. She quickened her pace. Only five more minutes, and she would be home… “Did you hear me! Hey!” The woman’s heart raced as she realized the man wasn’t satisfied with mere verbal harassment. She glanced back and found his face twisted in anger as he followed her! “These clothes are not allowed here! If you want to dress like that, live somewhere else!” But where else could she live? She was American and her company had specific housing arrangements, and they had made it very clear that she could live no place else—at least not with their financial or practical assistance. “Next time you come dressed like that, we will not allow you in!” She shuddered at the man’s last words. Tears stung her eyes, and she felt helpless as she rounded the corner to her villa. Would they really follow through with the rumors she’d heard whispered amongst other women who dressed as she did—that security would be sent to literally block them from entering their homes? Then what would the women do! Sleep on the street? Of course, she could dress “appropriately” and “follow the rules” as the man demanded of her each day… But that would be compromising her principles… But was it worth it to stand “strong” when she was beginning to feel so weak? Perhaps she was putting too much value in petty pieces of cloth… “We will not tolerate this anymore!” the man’s voice threatened in the night. Each day for the past four weeks, she faced this abuse. And there was nowhere to turn. This man was actually an “officer” assigned to prevent “inappropriate dress” like hers. And he held the highest rank in this part of Riyadh. If there was anyone who could help, he would be it. The day before, her friend had called distraught, wondering what they could do. Her friend was also facing daily abuse. A neighbor had recently trespassed onto the friend’s property to tell a guest and her daughter that they were not welcomed “dressed like that.” “You should know better,” the neighbor scolded the woman’s guests. “This is a compound.”
“But we’re Muslim!” the woman’s friend had cried in distress, her voice now echoing in the woman’s heart as she withstood the last of the man’s abuse. “How could they ask this of us?” Was it really reasonable to remove their abayas and hijabs in public—in front of strange men? The women had moved to Saudi Arabia because they had felt pressured to uncover in America! And now after months and months of waiting for their visas and tickets out of the States, they were required to uncover in a Muslim land. How unjust was that! And where they lived, other women walked around in form-fitting shirts and jeans—and even bathing suits! What was so wrong with covering? And why was it forbidden in this gated community—this “compound”? …And in Saudi Arabia?
Western?
Is that what being Western meant here? How odd, the woman thought… She was the indigenous American. And her Christian family would take offense to such a presumption. Did these “compound officers” imagine that all Westerners were non-Muslim? And even so, did they imagine that all non-Muslims walked around undressed…and demanded that everyone around them do the same? Inside the quiet of her house, the woman’s head pounded as she muttered the du’aa for entering her home. Her eyes still stung with tears of distress and confusion. But she didn’t want to cry. She had to be strong. She imagined that was the purpose of the abuse—to break her… “Mommy, is that you?” A soft voice called from upstairs just as she recited the last part of the prayer. “...Wa ‘alla rabbinaa tawakkalnaa.” And in our Lord we place our trust.
“Mommy? Are you home?” At her daughter’s innocent question, the woman lost her composure, and warm tears spilled from her eyes. Ashamed at her weakness, the woman covered her face and collapsed into the couch. No, she was not home, the realization came to her just then. But she had imagined she was…
Oh, how she had thought that living around Muslims would grant her the tranquility she’d once felt in America… Before she felt unwelcomed due to her abaya and hijab. “If you want to dress like that,” her former boss had told her after she accepted Islam, “you need to move to the Middle East.” Though he fired her weeks later, she actually took his advice. And a year later, the woman was elated when she was hired to work in Saudi Arabia! Finally, she could live in peace as a Muslim. Finally, she would find peace in hijab! “You cannot come here dressed like that!”
The reminder of the man’s words stung, and more tears spilled from her eyes. But just as her daughter entered the room, she was reminded of her supplication of seconds before… And in our Lord we place our trust. The reminder soothed her as her daughter held her tight. “Almost,” she whispered to the girl who grew perplexed at the sight of her mother’s tears. “We’re almost home.”
Umm Zakiyyah is the internationally acclaimed author of the If I Should Speak trilogy and the novels Realities of Submission and Hearts We Lost. To learn more about the author, visit themuslimauthor.com or join her Facebook page. |
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Comments
I love to read your writings specifically. I anxiously await for your post an article, maa sha Allaah ta barakAllaah.
So when I saw you had posted an article I was soo delighted and rushed to read it. May Allaah continue to bless you with such skill and abilities to captive your readers from an Islamic perspective, ameen.
Article comments: I recognized that this was a true story. That a sister actually experienced this harsh treatment. But I felt that there were something's left out.
For example, is she married, if so, where's her husband? Has she spoken to her employer about this issue, if so, what was the outcome? Was she told about the culture of the compound? Was her employer aware that she was Muslim and wore hijab when they hired her? Is it known by the Saudi authorities the treatment of Muslims on these compound? Is she still living there? You see, this article raised many questions.
Please forgive me if this seems to be blaming the victim, which she truly is. I'm addressing this in this manner, because many of us reverts assume there's an Islamic utopia in KSA. if we can just get to a Muslim country all of our problems will be solved.
This blog site addresses a lot of the issues that one should be concerned with when planning to move to KSA or any other Muslim country and it's greatly appreciated, at least from myself.
These people are so mean. It sounds like some of the worst of the kufar live on that compound. I wonder why if this people want to be so western that they would work in Saudi Arabia!
What did she mean by "We're almost home"?
I didn't now there were places in Saudi like this. That had officers policing women to uncover.
Thanks for reading and taking time to comment. Regarding the "unanswered questions," I'll say this: Any details that were left out were left out intentionally, primarily because this is based on a true story and this is standard etiquette for reality-based story sharing. However, regarding the circumstances on these compounds in general, I'll say this:
1. A compound is a privately owned "secure living area" often owned by an Arab(quite likely Muslim) and rented out to companies, who are promised a protected, secure place for their employees to live. A "secure living area" is often required for Western employees' safety.
2. Muslim men also face harassment on these compounds. Some of these "gated communities" forbid the thobe and beard.
3. A woman in this situation may be married or single. If she is alone, her husband may not have arrived yet in the Kingdom, or they are living separately. If she is single or divorced, then naturally she is alone.
4. Employers have no control whatsoever regarding the rules on these compounds, and given that many employees actually want this arrangement (including Muslims who consider the abaya and hijab off-putting), they'd likely do very little to oppose this anyway. Also, many of the employers are Western companies with contracts in KSA so they are often foreigners just like the women in the story.
5. This harassment cannot be blamed on non-Muslims, as the security in these compounds is often made up of primarily Muslims. Nevertheless, the residents often harass the Muslims (as we saw with the woman's friend and guests) and sometimes the residents inflict the worst harassment on visible Muslims. Sometimes the "hired officers" do not agree with the rules, so they are not really strict about enforcing them; so sometimes it's the residents who make life unbearable for the Muslims. In the story I shared, both situations were happening: severe harassment from officers and residents.
6. No, local Saudi authorities cannot do much b/c these are "privately owned" areas (like private property in the West) so the owners can make whatever rules they want without legal intervention from the government.
7. No, employees are not always informed of the details of compound rules before living there. However, any Muslim who is moving to KSA from the West should seek out these rules. But as a general rule, if you are assigned to live on anything called a "compound," it's very likely there will be rules against Islamic dress (and there are some exceptions to this). Sometimes employers give employees the option of "housing allowance" in lieu of compound living quarters, and many Muslim families opt for this [To be on the safe side, it may be preferable to accept housing allowance; but know that you're on your own, literally, when you take this option and unfortunately, many companies won't help you in the least].
8. As for officers policing women to uncover, this is quite standard in compounds, but this doesn't exist in Saudi Arabia outside of these private areas. The idea of the compound is to make the "Westerner" feel "at home" by promising them that they never have to see any signs of Islam where they live (i.e on the compound): This, so the theory goes, makes them feel like they have their own little Western reality in KSA [NOTE: It's perplexing how any Westerner would feel "at home" with no signs of Islam around them, as this doesn't even exist in the West itself]. The residents often play this up by saying that seeing the hijab, abaya, or niqab makes them "uncomfortable" (which is quite laughable given that they chose to move to Saudi.) But I don't blame them for playing the victim here (even if dishonestly), b/c the compound owners (who are often Muslim) give them the green light to pull the Islamophobia card and many residents behave towards Muslims in ways they would never behave in America.
However, many non-Muslim residents on compounds are very respectful of Muslims, alhamdulillaah. And to be really honest, it is not only non-Muslim residents harassing Muslims: Some Muslims who call themselves "open-minded"(i.e. open to not practicing Islam) join in too.
And Allah's help is sought.
Umm Zakiyyah
themuslimauthor .com
JZK, Ukhty, for this powerful article. May Allah bless the sister (and others like her) with better than this and may she find her true home in Jennat al firdous.
I find it terribly distressing that some people think “Western” means uncovered. That is an insult to me as a “Westerner!” Freedom and individuality is the cornerstone of “Western” values. How can people think that forcing a woman to show more of her body than she choses to is an expression of freedom! Such an idiom of “freedom!"
Sad that this story comes from the Land of the Two Holy Mosques. I am not against compounds having special rules for the residents who wish to escape the Islamic values we hold dear in the land...however, to discriminate against those who hold those Islamic values dear is disturbing and unacceptable!
May Allah protect and guide us all!
Bets regards,
-Aisha, Natural Mom
MashaAllah a very well written piece, and on an excellent topic I must say. I can't really add anything to what has been said already. All I can add is, that I've been in a similar situation when visiting a friend on a compound here in Jeddah. I refused to go visit again after that soubhanAllah.
Jazakallahu kheir
Susanne (Umm_Kariem)
Jazakil Lahu khairan. It is quite distressing to read such stories especially as this happened in Saudi Arabia of all places. I think that if the Saudi authorities are aware of such things they will put a stop to them. Even though the compounds are privately owned that does not mean that they can make rules that infringe on people's rights to practise Islam in Saudi Arabia. How do you think we can help our sisters that live in such situations? I don't think it is enough just to read the article and pass comments while our sisters continue to suffer.
As many Westerners have found out the hard way, it's difficult or impossible to have a mixed Saudi/Muslim-Western compound where the rights and interests of both parties can co-exist. What Westerners find is that as soon as the Saudi Muslims join the community, the customs revert to Saudi rules. That is, the Western women find that they can no longer dress as they like, they find Saudi men peering at them from behind curtains and other forms of harassment start up.
Next: Imagine a land where all non-native people are forced to follow the dress customs of the locals, and not only the dress customs but all customs. And not only are the non-native people required by law to follow the customs but even the natives are too. Well, if that's good enough for Saudis in public areas, why is the reverse not good enough on Western-style compounds?
And is it really true that requiring a person to uncover a small portion -- her face -- is not the same as forcing someone to cover?
Western women often walk around with scarves or even abayas on the compounds. It's only when the Saudi obsession with covering every square inch of the woman's body -- notably, the rules of modest covering don't seem to apply to men! -- comes into play that Westerners start feeling uncomfortable. Who is this woman who doesn't wish to be recognized, who is so overwrought at the thought that someone might gaze upon her forehead or hair that she can't stand it?
Finally, I challenge the author or other commenters to show any instance where any expat was "promised...that they never have to see any signs of Islam where they live." Really...any sign of Islam? I just don't believe that. No one comes to KSA expecting or hoping to see no signs of Islam. However, they might have come hoping to be able to do their jobs of helping Saudis manage their projects and natural resouces, become better educated and all the other important jobs that have to be done without necessarily having to subscribe to all aspects of Islam. In fact, many Westerners come to KSA simply because they wish to support their spouses and live as a family or because they are children and have little or no say in the matter.
BarakAllaahufee k. Yes, this is very distressing. You are correct. It is best to seek ways to solve the problem and help those in this unfortunate situation.
Some basic ways to help are the following:
1. Make sincere du'aa for them, as it is only Allah who can change the circumstance for anyone.
2. If possible, contact the owners of some of the compounds to inform them of the problem and brainstorm ways to establish flexible guidelines for the Western Muslims living in these areas.
3. The compounds can establish ways to inform the residents that "Western" includes people of all religions, and that all people living on (and visiting) the compound should be respected. (This would necessitate the compound owners agreeing to this).
4. Those who are able should establish "Muslim-friendly" compounds.
5. Assist the Muslim women (and families) who are in this situation by helping them find affordable housing outside the compound. This would require volunteering one's time (and in some cases money and resources).
And Allah knows best.
May Allah bless and reward you for your concern.
Umm Zakiyyah
themuslimauthor .com
Also, there are some bad compounds where a western style is promoted but on the most part foreigners come here and abide by the cultural rules of dress. You go to London and women are wearing anything from niqabs, saris and bikinis.
I was surprised to read this news..shocking in as much as it is devastating..how could this happen in Saudi? Surely, there must be some way to stop this intolerance..I do admire the sisters here..Masha Allah, May Allah help them and give them great rewards
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